“Frankly I think both of you are wrong and stupid”, I said silencing both adults. One was my almost 50 year old aunt and the other my pregnant cousin.
The source of the argument was long forgotten, they had now resorted to making claims about things done in the past and looking in my direction to see if I was keeping count. I had finally put the novel I was reading down and decided it was time to put an end to this stupidity; even if it meant my head was on the guillotine. “Your both acting like confused teenagers who believe that other people owe them some kind of treatment you are not offering” -Treat other people the same way you would like to be treated”, I quoted. That age old maxim did not have a clause in small print which says “if they treat you nicely!” My cousin now had the pained expression of betrayal and had crossed her hands on top of her baby-filled belly. I was un-remorseful, I’d realized a while back that our generation think we should stick by each other for no particular reason. Rubbish! If you’re wrong you’re wrong. You”, I said pointing at her, “Yes, you have been loved better and more wholesomely in a foreign land and now you have found yourself here in this rocky society of loveless selfish individuals”. My aunt squirmed a little but I marched on. “So what! Yes they should not treat you that way but that is the exact same way you are treating them. They are just more experienced at being un-loving than you. Let them be and love them anyway. Instead your response is to corrupt the love you have and become loveless too. I was warming up and began pacing between them. “Everyone in our family including myself acts like the many street walkers who step indignantly over a beggars cup with coins jingling in their pocket on their way to buying a packet of gum. Like love is “owed” and not given. Looking down our noses at each other behind concrete walls. Of course it is harder to love loveless manipulative people who are cunning, condescending and need constant attention and ego-pampering. Love them anyway. What is there to lose? You own ego? Get over it! Trust me your ego is certainly over you. In fact it is the hardest of souls that need the most love. Their cups are almost empty and you pouring nothing out of yours doesn’t help them, yourself or the society” By now my Aunt looked about ready to walk away. Might as well finish strong, I thought. Stop being emotional cowards; running away from a war you will not win. Fight on! And do it with a smile. Eventually either you will change (Pointing at my cousin) and learn to love the love-less or you will change (Turning to my aunt) learning to love the loving. Revolt against your selfish nature, both of you! Spit it out as you trudge through the trenches. If you cannot tell someone how you feel then you might as well stop feeling it and move on! Don’t you think it’s ridiculous that you have locked yourself in your own emotional prisons? I waited but no one responded. I put my arms down and picked up my book. Turning back I said; “Because of this sense-less bickering you have split the family into random annoying factions like cliques in high school and you are unknowingly alienating an entire generation (I said pointing to the belly) who will be born into a childish society of bickering adults. Grow up. Tell each other how the other person made you feel. Move on!” And walked away. ..em
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A man asked me once.
“I would sacrifice my hearing”, I quickly replied barely taking my eyes of the page I was reading. “Why?”, he replied eyeing me behind clear frame less glasses. I’m sometimes on auto pilot with auto-responses to all questions coming my way. Aren’t we all? We use fancy words and exaggerated philosophical statements to hide our inability or unwillingness to think deeper. He had called my bluff so I looked up and humbly replied,” I don’t know, but I’ll find out”. “hmmm”, he said and turned back to his book. I racked my brain for days. My eyes and ears were not in competition. Is it because I would still be able to read and move about easily. Maybe it’s because what we hear is not as informative and clearly defined as what we see. Or perhaps it’s easier to sense and avert danger with our eyes. Also darkness is scary but then again so is silence; at times. On and on I went but rationalizing was getting me nowhere. Instead I imagined I was sitting by a waterfall in the forest. With no hearing I can conjure up a musical symphony of the scene. I could imagine the birds chirping, the crash of the water and the chatter of a couple nearby. I can imagine the sound the wind would make as it passed through the trees and the crunching of dry leaves underfoot. Alternatively I can simply sit sublimely in silence. On the other hand without the image I would be in darkness having to bring out the many layers our blessed eyes effortlessly create. The colors, the textures, the connections, the movements. Even if with great mental effort I managed to hold onto the image a child would suddenly run behind me and I would quickly turn my head to follow the sound and have to re-create a new image. I could go on and on but the point is the same. I now know my reason why. It is much easier to create the music of a vision than it is to create a vision from the music. (This statement means many things) Be thankful for all the senses you are blessed with and use them wisely. em..:) |